Ready For War?

So, I'm rolling through my daily links, and I see the best game of all time is having a sequel. Mind you, I haven't beaten the first one, but I'm already pissing my pants with happiness about Gears of War 2.

I'm still experiencing my current Gears of War game (though I haven't played it in the last month, as I'm trying to get an NBA Championship on NBA 2K8). I'm really interested to know how Gears of War 2 will be. This will be another game that I haven't completed added to my collection.

I need to slow down and actually complete some of these games. I've yet to fully play NBA 2K8, Gears of War, Final Fantasy XII, Final Fantasy X-2, Final Fantasy X, and a few others. Wow...Final Fantasy games are hard to beat.

Anyway, I'm definitely ready for Gears of War 2. I'll be buying that in November.

Just Say No!

I finally decide to go to my first strip club. The 2 O'Clock club in Baltimore, MD was where I went. I've never been to a strip club so I didn't know what to expect. From my "research," I thought I'd find strippers doing the dirty, while being videotaped. Fortunately...and unfortunately, it was nothing like that.

As my homeboys and I head inside the club, which had "no cover charge," I'm looking around to see some elegant strip club things. Instead, I see a party club turned into a strip club. I didn't pass judgement though, because the dancers could make or break the club.

I head to the bar and purchase an *EEK* $6 bottle of water. It was the only way I could get change to properly tip the ladies if they interested me. Looking around at the scantly clad women, I walk around, trying to find a seat. It took us a while as we wanted a good view, but we finally decided to sit where the strippers first make their entrance.

I'm a little geeked up to see what the strippers have to offer. After all, I haven't been laid in a year, trying to do good and be celibate. I had a roll of one's in my pockets, ready to be flung out onto the stage.

Let's put it this way. I walked in with $40. I walked out with $26 left. Yes...the club was that bad. I spent $6 on a bottle of water, and tipped a dancer $8. That's not a good thing if you are a generous tipper.

The ladies weren't all that to begin with. Some did look fuckable, but they weren't the "DAMN!" women. I'm generally attracted to thick women, but when you see constant pudges that look like pudding, you get turned off. One chick that I thought would put on a good show let me down. She had a nice chest though.

My homeboys inauspiciously disappeared, saying they would be "right back." I should've known better, but I sat there and waited. The most interesting chick had a clit ring. It was my first time seeing that. I doubt I want to see again. That's just too freaky for me. How do you get a ring in your clit? If you didn't feel pain, did you orgasm from being pierced there? Too many questions for me to enjoy her.

I finally decided to get up and walk to the back. I was greeted to the sight of one of my homeboys grabbing and smacking ass, Ludacris style. I wasn't going to hate, but he did crack me up when he walked quickly and heavily toward the ATM machine to buy him a lap dance. Needless to say, if I could've recorded that...it'd be on YouTube.

His facial expression was crazy. He had this mixture of I'm-going-to-kill-you and I'm-a-little-kid look on his face. Funny stuff. If only I had a camera...I'd be chilling while he'd be mad at the backlash he'd get.

Anywho, I plop down in a corner of the club, pissed off. I start texting some people to blow off some steam. As I sit there texting random people and trying to set up a photo shoot with this one chick, a stripper walks by. She was average looking, but I was pissed and wanting to be horny. She saw me gazing at her, and the fun started.

She starts dancing in my general direction, licking her tongue out at me and making those googly eyes. I'm enjoying it a bit, and she was the only chick to pay attention specifically to me, so I tip her a bit. She keeps dancing, so I feel obligated to do a "grown man" thing.

As I tip her the next time, I place the dollar bill right on the clit and let my fingers rub that joint. It was a nice clit if I must say. Had me thinking some dirty thoughts. If I knew her as a close friend and she was clean, she probably would've gotten smashed right there on the spot.

But then...the COCKBLOCKER arrives. For those of you who do not know, I absolutely HATE cockblockers. I would kill cockblockers if I could get away with it. The stripper is dancing, letting me feel all on the booty, clit, and tits, when the freaking waitress walks up.

She asks one of the most stupid questions ever: "Don't you want to buy this young lady a drink?" Bitch...is you stupid? I'm not trying to fuck her. I'm not trying to get her drunk. I'm not even trying to get head. I'm just trying to rub on her soft ass and tits, and you want me to BUY her something? Valentine's Day had passed!

Of course, I said no...and the stripper got pissed. She gave me the mean look, kissed her finger and rubbed my face down to my pants. She then blew me a kiss and walked away. Of course, a brother is pissed cuz I was actually FINALLY enjoying myself.

Pissed, I text some more until my homeboy finishes his private session. I'm ready to roll out, and the club was closing anyway. Overall, I'm pissed. I didn't really see anyone worth tipping. Then, when I finally get a dancer to myself, the COCKBLOCKER enters and hates. Man...if I saw that trick again, she would get shot.

Will I ever go to a strip club again? Nah...I'll be fine. I know women that will strip for me quickly and easily. All I have to do is say, "Hey...come strip for me."

Feed Me Rappers or Feed Me Weed!

So once again, Lil' Wayne is in the news. I swear, he's the Black Britney Spears. He can't seem to stay out of trouble. Lil' Wayne is killing me man. I know he says he's the best rapper alive, but the best know how to NOT get in trouble.

You rarely hear about Jay-Z, Ludacris, Eminem (nowadays), OutKast, and others getting in trouble. Wayne, however, craves the trouble like he craves weed--I mean--beats. That's sad.

I need for Wayne to stop blaming his crew too. That's so Carmelo Anthony-ish. He needs to step up and man up. I don't see what the big deal is. You got caught, you're a celebrity, you're rich, you're a "gangsta"...doing hard time in a celebrity prison should be easy. Martha Stewart would love to be in his shoes.

But let's be real. Wayne needs to clean it up. Even though he's coming out with dope lines, he can do it while sober or do it in the privacy of his home where he won't get caught. Simple. But you are an idiot to take weed, X, and crack with you to a state that is known for busting drug dealers. Let's be a LITTLE smart here Wayne.

The funnier thing is how he called his crew out onstage. I'm sorry...I couldn't have been in that crew. That's ground for an ass whipping. I would've stomped Wayne afterwards and took the assault charges. People would've applauded me. I can't stand a dude being a bitch and calling someone out onstage instead of to their faces.

But then again, we are talking about a guy who kissed another grown man. Wait...that's the perfect mental defect defense. I would argue that Wayne has become confused and he uses drugs as a "way out." Can't lose with that one. Look at OJ Simpson and Britney Spears. I'm a genius man.

Anywho, I like Wayne, but he doesn't really have to prove he's an "American Psycho" or whatever. He needs to straighten up and get his life in order. I would love to be Wayne's lawyer though. "My client needs to go to a mental hospital your Honor. If you deny him that right, then Britney Spears needs to go to jail too!" Yep...I'm crazy...but you know the justice system is too.

David Stuns Goliath

Well...it finally happened. I knew it was coming....and it did. The freaking Patriots lost. Poor Randy Moss. Poor Tom Brady. Poor Bill...nah...fuck him. I don't like him anyway. But congratulations to the New England Patriots for failing. I knew you could do it. From the first snap, I knew New England had virtually no chance to win.

Now, New England can join an elite class of failures that includes Brooke Hogan. Seriously though, did New England think that the cheating scandal would not come back and haunt them? They cheated to beat the Rams their first year. They tried to cheat at the beginning of the season. They tried to cheat...and they were unsuccessful.

With the Super Bowl out of the way and the city of Boston in flames, I can honestly say this was the best Super Bowl since the one in 2000 when the Titans and Rams squared off. That was a great Super Bowl, game and commercial wise. No Super Bowl has come close to duplicating that great combination.

This one failed horribly. I've seen some horrible Super Bowl commercials (last year ring a bell?). This year's batch of commercials were not that funny. The few exceptions were the Doritos commercial where "human rat" jumped out and the horse training to pull the Bud Light carriage. The others were very lackluster, especially the lame "anti-drug" commercial.

Nevertheless, this game was very good. The best play, of course, came when David Tyree leaped up and caught one of the hardest passes all year. When I saw the play, I jumped out of my seat, pulling almost all of my ab muscles since my stomach hadn't fully digested the numerous goodies I ate during the game.

I will say that the last drive the Giants put on was the greatest one since the 2000 Super Bowl. It didn't end on a field goal and it was very decisive. Even though my Titans fell, I was very happy with the game. I still remember the conversations after the game at school the next day. Enough of the sentimental crap though. Time for business.

The Giants won on the road every game. That's very impressive. I don't think any other team has done that...but I could be wrong. However, the Eli Manning "dynasty" is upon us. It's his first ring, and it was an impressive performance by him. The only mistake was an INT that his player gave to the other team...idiot.

I am disappointed in Steve Smith's performance. For this to be his "comeback" Super Bowl and to blow missed opps like that...well...that's almost like how Donte' Stallworth played. I digress though; he has a ring. Moss and Stallworth do not.

As I see the end of the Bowl...I'm still disappointed. For all the hype, there weren't many good commercials. That hurt me...as I always look forward to the commercials delivering. I guess there's always next year. Maybe the Patriots will play fair and not cheat...but then again...maybe they need to cheat to win. But wait...I guess this Super Bowl proved something...cheaters never prosper.